Tales From The Darkside: The Movie

How is it possible I never saw this movie before?

This is the perfect example of the horror-comedy-cheese I adore!

Christian Slater, Julianne Moore, and Buster Poindexter! OMG!

Thank God for Fox and its Sunday afternoon showings of B-movie classics such as this. At least, Fox is good for something.

Happy Halloweenie!

Grave of the Fireflies

This is the best movie about orphans in a war torn country you've never seen.

Not since great films like Jeux Interdits and Empire of the Sun have a seen such a masterfully crafted movie such as this. Don't let the fact that its Japanese anime scare you off. There are no pixie like moon goddesses or Pokemon or 6-headed mecha drones... this is a highly dramatic and realistic storyline. Like most foreign films, the version dubbed in English is a bit cheesy, so I recommend the original version if you can deal with subtitles, but even in English the plot will tug are your heartstrings.

The DVD also has a neat feature where you can view the original story boards that have been intergrated into the movie.

Revenge of The Blintz

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith... its been all over the tele. Apparently, its coming out on DVD soon. I will not be buying it.

I saw this movie in the theater. I don't go out to the movies much anymore, because its so expensive and you can't smoke. But at one time, I was a Star Wars fan to rival any fanboy.

But this movie sucked ass! I will no longer call myself a Star Wars fan. Revenge of the Sith was no more than a Mexican soap opera. Now I know a lot of people that will disagree with me, but tough shit. I hated this movie.

And what's up with Padme? Poor Natalie Portman. I bet she was not happy with the script. Brave, outspoken Queen Amidala had been transformed into a snivling, barefoot and pregnant whiner. And I've seen Hayden Christensen in other movies, and apparently he CAN act, just not in a Lucas movie.

The force is not strong with this one.

View From The Top

I really wanted to like this movie.

I really did.

But this movie is dismally bad. Yes, there is the occasional chuckle to be had, but I actually felt myself losing brain cells watching this movie. Little Gwynnie Paltrow, who is usually so classy, should have fired her agent after this movie. Mike Myers is beyond not funny and even though Mark Ruffalo is super cute, it doesn't make this movie worth it.

I was really, really stoned and it still wasn't that funny.

So take that.

Entre las Piernas (Between Her Legs)

Though this movie sounds like porn, but it came up as a recommended foreign thriller on my Netflix list. I love a good foreign film and was hoping this would be up there with Y Tu Mama Tambien or Diabolique (the original), but I didn't think it was up to snuff. I could appreciate the look they were going for, but felt they missed the true film noir mark. It takes a while for the plot to even get going, and I felt it left a lot of holes open. I didn't exactly HATE this movie, but I didn't love it either. Overall, I'd pass.

Stargate

Ok, first let me just say: no, I did not rent this.

But being home sick on the weekend again, with no cable and nothing but golf on the other channels, I stumbled across the afternoon viewing of Stargate on Fox.

I forgot how horrible this movie is. And how entertaining. Its like a trainwreck, but you can't look away. Hopelessly flawed and silly, but so bad its good. I admit I do like the show, but anything that only plays at 3am, you kinda expect to be bad. If I remember correctly, this was a pretty big movie back in the day, possibly even thought to align itself next to sci-fi greats like Star Wars and ET.

But its really bad and was destined to only become a campy cult classic. But hey! At least its got that guy from The Crying Game.

My Life Without Me

Another sad, tragic indie movie (though this one Canadian, eh?). I found myself relating to most of it and cried through most of the second half. I need to own this movie. Someone buy it for me. Plus, it includes what I believe to be the best first kiss ever recorded on celluloid.

In The Cut

I'm not a big Meg Ryan fan, but with Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kevin Bacon and Mark Ruffalo, I expected more from this movie. Not to mention it is directed by Jane Campion of Piano fame (one of my favorite movies). But this movie tries entirely too hard to be the gritty, sexy indie thriller and just comes off like silly soft porn. Meg Ryan's interactions with the other characters are laughable, and Ruffalo's '70's porn star mustache is beyond distracting. The whole half-sister subplot is creepy and Kevin Bacon's character is completely unnecessary. The details of the movie... the "style"... like costumes, art direction, etc... are decent, but even scene after scene of Mark Ruffalo talking dirty can't save this film.

Rushmore

Another Wes Anderson classic, I've seen this movie before, but decided to rent it along with The Aquatic. I'm sure most of you have seen it at this point, and if you haven't, shame on you. I love this movie.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things...

(Movie wise at least. *Copied from my Myspace profile)


AVP
Best in Show
Boondock Saints
Bowling For Columbine
The Brave Little Toaster
Chasing Amy
Clerks
Closer
Crouching Tiger
Dark Crystal
Dr. Strangelove
Dummy
English Patient
Fahrenheit 9/11
Full Metal Jacket
Garden State
Ghost in the Shell
Hero
House of Flying Daggers
The Hunger
Kill Bill
The Last Unicorn
The Life Aquatic
LOTR
Love Liza
The Messenger
Milo and Otis
Napoleon Dynamite
Niagara, Niargara
Of Human Bondage
Party Girl
The Piano
The Professional
Resident Evil
Royal Tennebaums
Rushmore
Saving Grace
Shaun of the Dead
Star Wars
Twin Falls Idaho
Underworld
We Don’t Live Here Anymore
Wicker Park
Willy Wonka
Xanadu
Y Tu Mama Tambien

Anything by:
Paul Anderson
Wes Anderson
Tim Burton
Sophia Coppola
Stanley Kubrick
Sam Raimi
Kevin Smith
Or Including:
Kate Blanchett
Bruce Campbell
Bette Davis
Johnny Depp
Angelina Jolie
Milla Jovovich
Bill Murray
Natalie Portman
Mark Ruffalo

We Don't Live Here Anymore

I can't remember how I first heard about this movie, but I'm so glad I did.

Its exactly the type of movie I fall in love with. The gritty, painful, tragic indie film with tremendous acting, realistic dialog and well developed characters. Mark Ruffalo could quite possibly be my new crush. Laura Dern is one of the most underrated actresses of our generation and despite how much I don't want to like her, Naomi Watts is fantastic. (I think she can out-act her BFF Nicole Kidman anyday... plus she's not going all Mommy Dearest with the eyebrows!) Peter Krause from Six Feet Under is effectively awkward and you find yourself just feeling sorry for him. This is another movie where no one is innocent (think Closer), and it doesn't sugar coat the raw emotion behind the characters actions. If you like these types of movies, I would check this one for sure.

The Life Aquatic

I liked it. I really did. Maybe not as much as Tenenbaums, but I really thought it was good. Wonderful art direction and soundtrack. Bill Murray is a god.

Advent Children

Allow me to geek out in all my nerd glory. I've been a video game fanatic ever since I first played Pole Position On Colecovision back in the early 80's. I read video game magazines and at one time owned all three systems. I wrote a term paper on Final Fantasy. I'm a dork. I admit it. But being a chick gamer, I can still pawn that off as somewhat of a novelty.

So anyhoo... when Final Fantasy: Advent Children was suppose to come out early September, I was there when the store opened, money in hand. But alas, due to cruel fate, the powers that be pushed back the American release date until January. This was so not good. If they were pushing is back past Christmas, in all likelihood, it wouldn't come out until Summer of next year. I was crushed.

But thanks to my resourceful friend Steve, I received a bootleg copy of the Japanese version for my birthday. At first, I had some trouble getting it to play on my computer, but after Steve came over and messed with it, we got it to play. Because its a copy, there is no way to turn on the English subtitles, but to be honest, I didn't need them. The artfully crafted imagery speaks for itself. The lighting and water effects are top notch and the character designs keep the whimsy of the Final Fantasy series, yet eerily come to life. The story is every fanboy (or girl's)wet dream. The return of Sephiroth is magnificent and there are plenty of "holy shit!" moments. It features a beautiful written

Granted this is not a movie for everyone, but if you have any interest in the following: video games, computers, anime, computer animation as an artform, science fiction, film making, etc... go get this movie.

Lost in Lost

Ok, so I realize that I created this blog as a study into an isomniac's film selection, but I do, on occasion watch the tele. I was actually raised on the glass nipple, and can still to this day, ramble off cartoon theme songs from my childhood. I love television as a media source, though the quality of its programming is getting consistantly worse. When I watch shows like Hope and Faith and The O.C. and I feel myself losing brain cells. But occasionally, a show comes on that actually goes above and beyond with its writing and doesn't insult my intelligence.

I was a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and scoff if you want, but that show's writing was brilliant. I mourned that show when it went off the air. I indulged in the weird of Twin Peaks and laughed at the political satire of The Daily Show (though, alas, I no longer have cable). And now, most recently, I found myself hooked on ABC's show Lost.

I began watching it from the first season, and actually thought the pilot was a bit on the hokey side. But a few eppies in, I knew it was going to be my 'new show'. The characters are interesting and complex, and their intertwining stories remind me of a Robert Altman film. Though the actual story line is about as realistic as, say, The X-Files, the characters are so human that the plot doesn't get away from you (as Twin Peaks tended to do in its later episodes).

As we start the 2nd season, the main characters have all been relatively established and we start to learn about the mysteries of the island itself. I will not give away any spoilers for those who haven't yet tuned in, but for any other Lost fanatics, I highly recommending putting the movie Cube in your Netflix queue. Its a great sci-fi/horror indie film starring no one you've ever heard of, but the plot reminds me alot of where I think Lost is heading. Kind of an obscure reference, but for those of you who take the time to check it out, I think you'll see what I'm saying.

Frankenstein

Second movie of the night. Still on pain killers. Frankenstein with Parker Posey (and Michael Madsen). A horror/thriller ala Seven or The Ring. And really, really bad. I mean SO bad. Like I'd rather have needles stuck in my eyes bad. And parker posey... good gravy! You used to be one of my faves. I was a little weirded out by Blade Trinity, but we'll let that slide... but a mullet? Its not Monster, honey. Its a C-class straight to video piece of craaaaaaap.

Home At The End Of The World

I'm completely hopped up on well deserved pain pills, so please excuse any and all opinions hereafter, as well as any typos or spelling errors.

Thank you. The Mgt.

Ok, so... Home at The End of The World. I liked it. It had its flaws; the dialog was comical and just plain bad and Colin Farrel can't act, but the chemistry was fabulous and I liked the overall story. Clare's character was great. Robin Wright Penn nailed it. Colin Farrel's mullet was pretty bad though.

No New Movies Tonight...

So, I give you an exciting nugget of film news:

Universal Pictures will pay Joss Whedon seven figures for his fantasy thriller script GONER. Whedon will also direct the film. Mary Parent and Scott Stuber will produce.
The story centers on "a young woman's journey that involves a great deal of horror and some heroics."

My Film Heroes

To me, the depth of how a character is written, makes a movie worth watching. I have a really hard time watching a movie where the characters are not consistent or their stories poorly developed. I suppose over the years I've become a bit of a movie snob, but so be it. All the great acting or stylish filmwork cannot save a poorly written character.

With that being said, I want to talk about my favorite film characters and how I relate to them.

Alice from Closer - This stripper cum muse is used and abused over and over, becoming the story's tragic heroine. However, in the end, she rises like a phoenix from the ashes.

Clare from Home at the End of the World - The dialog in this movie is laughable, but Clare seems to be the character for which the whole story was written. She's plucky and emotionally real. Though she seems comfortable in her own skin, even her self esteem gets shaken now and again as she ask, "am I really this unusual?"

Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind - spontaneous and flaky. Impulsive and hopelessly romantic. Eternally unconcerned and childlike. I relate to Clementine the most.

Sam From Garden State - Though I relate more with Andrew's plight, Sam's awkwardness and tendency to over apologize make her very recognizable. I'm not a habitual liar like Sam, but I understand why she does so.

Margot Tenenbaum - This needs no explanation.

Love Liza...

This is a really great movie. But really, really depressing. I mean really depressing. I don't care who you are or how tough you think you are, this subtle movie will get to you.

"When the wife of a Web page designer, Wilson Joel (Philip Seymour Hoffman), inexplicably kills herself, she takes away his own will to survive. Wilson's mother-in-law (Kathy Bates) wants him to read his wife's suicide note, but he refuses. And a co-worker yearns to take care of him, but all Wilson seeks is to distance himself from the world and its pain by sniffing gasoline. "

As you can see... a delightful little comedy. My dad was actually the one who originally recommended this to me. Scary. But its a really wonderful movie, if you can get past its soul crushing subject matter.

Garden State

So this is not a new movie off my Netflix list, and I actually own this one. But because it is the most important movie I have seen in a very long time, I believe it deserves some comments.

I think a lot of filmmakers enter Hollywood like fresh politicians entering D.C. Full of innovative ideas and hopeful ambition, they feel like they can take on the world. Eventually, the money and corruption wear them down to the point that they find their muse sleeping with a valet. Zach Braff's Garden State is exactly we should embrace the unknown writers and directors and recognize them for their uniquely soulful works. The movie industry wonders why everyone's stopped going to the theater. Its because the theaters play shit like unnecessarily remade Dukes of Hazzard or wholy godawful Catwoman. I cannot even tell you how bad Catwoman was. Good God. But I digress...

Garden State is one of those movies where you are either going to relate to it or not. I've talked to people who say the movie changed their lives, when other people shrug their shoulders and give an unenthusiastic "it was okay". I fall into the first group. This first timer's film is about waking up in your late twenties realizing you've become numb to a life you don't recognize. The plot takes you on the search for Large's Ark and becomes sentimental without putting you in a diabetic coma. The romance between Sam and Largeman is refreshingly innocent and pure, but not over the top. You find yourself rooting for the lamenting hero as he discovers love for the first time, and feel his pain as he faces what his new future means. Everyone is going to take something different away from this film, but I think hope is a big part of its message.

If you haven't seen this movie, you really should. You might like it. You might not. But see it all the same.

Explanation and Introduction

I'm an insomniac. I don't sleep. I spend hours trying to kill time at night by watching movies, listening to music, writing and playing video games. Through the glorious miracle that is Netflix, I get a constant stream of movies to watch, mostly tragic indie films, which I usually watch high. In this blog, you will find my thoughts on said movies, and probably some randomness as well.

Enjoy.