Gigli

Hahahaha... yes, it really is as bad as they say (and not in the good way), and no, I didn't pay to rent this movie.

Eragon

Fucking horrible... twinks and dragons and one of the worst scripts ever to make it to the big screen. Pure cheese. I sure hope the book wasn't this bad. Shame too because it's actually a really nice looking film.

Mrs. Brown

I don't know how I missed this when it came out, but I'm glad I got around to seeing it. How I love a dreary period piece! And no, that's not sarcasm. And Dame Judi Dench is the bomb. I wonder if she'd be interested in adopting a 30 year old American with tattoos and dreadlocks.

March of the Penguins

Really sweet. Best movie of the year.... not even close. But good all the same.

Awww...

Mark Ruffalo was on Craig Ferguson last night. He was all nervous and kept wringing his hand. It was so cute I could almost die. Oh, the things I'd do to that man...

(Hey. It's my blog. I'll gush if I want to!)

Hard Cash

One of those great straight to video movies that they play on UPN on a Saturday afternoon. Starring Val Kilmer, Christian Slater, and VERN TROYER! Absolute trash. I loved it.

What The BLEEP Do We Know?

For someone who is currently studying and following the concept of the Laws of Attraction, this fit in perfectly. For anyone who doesn't know what this movie is about, I think I would have a hard time describing it. It's about physics, metaphysics, matter, anti-matter, and what we perceive as reality, and how to create our own reality. Definitely a movie I would recommend, but certainly not for everybody. But if these are things that are of interest to you, you'll love it.

Alive (2002)

Hm. How do I write this review?

This movie is excellent, but yet one of the most painful viewing experiences I've had in a while. Why? Another case of BAD DUBBING. The version of the movie that I obtained gave no other option than to watch it dubbed in English... if that's what you want to call it. The voice actors should be shot. I've heard better acting in porn. It absolutely ruined this eerie movie. Bah. But I would highly recommend this movie if you can find it in its original Japanese.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Let's all say it together... stoooooopid. But I have to say I love Eddie Izzard.

Idiocracy

Mildly entertainingly, though I must admit that I found the premise funnier than anything. The whole idea of the human race becoming progressively dumber to the point of devolution is something I've been saying for years. The devil here is in the details, and pay close attention to the ridiculous surroundings and you'll find a lot more humor.

An Inconvenient Truth

This is a movie that EVERYONE needs to watch, though it is very upsetting. But the truth often is.

The Omen 666

I can't really compare this movie to the original because I barely remember it, though I can say with some certainty that I've seen it. (I was never too impressed by '70's horror.) That being said, I enjoyed this movie. It wasn't great by any means, but entertaining. And that kid is fucking creepy.

I must say (without giving anything away) that I was a bit disappointed with the ending, but maybe that's just me.

Intermission

Due to a random hospital stay, the holidays and my recent trip to SF, I have neglected my poor blog. I'm writing brief thoughts to catch up, then we will resume normal programming...

Hard Candy - go see it NOW! Fucking GREAT!

Cars - Just Ok. Nice animation, but still has the long Disney music montages that I fucking hate.

Lady in the Water - I don't know what everyone's problem is. I liked it, thought the ending was appropriate and thought the whole director cum actor thing wasn't too bad.

Layer Cake - Daniel Craig is hot, in a fugly kinda way.

Idlewild - Eh. 'Twas just okay. Woulda been great if I was a huge Outkast fan.

Superman Returns - I enjoyed it because my expectations were very low. Lois Lane shoulda been recast. Kevin Spacey stole the show. But does anyone else get the feeling that if Clark Kent wasn't Superman he'd be a child molester?

Clerks 2 - Le sigh. I hope Kevin Smith isn't losing his edge. Though some of the scenes were pure genius, just as many scenes went on entire too long to be close to funny. And he really needs to stop casting his wife.

Art School Confidential - Completely not what I was expecting, but a pleasant surprise none the less.

Strangers with Candy - Amy Sedaris needs to be my lesbian life mate.

Da Vinci Code - BO-RING.

Over the Hedge - Could have been funnier. Good for small children though.

Little Miss Sunshine - A "Must Own".

The Devil Wears Prada - Pure fluff.

The Last Kiss - A great movie, just horribly depressing. Great soundtrack.

A Scanner Darkly - Pretty, but boring.

Nacho Libre - Stupid waste of time.

Talladega Nights - Funnier than I thought it would be since I usually don't like Will Ferrell. Praise Baby Jesus.

Monster House

Lately the studios have been battling it out over the lucrative business of animated films.

Much to my delight.

I love animation. Even bad animation. I have watched everything from Saturday morning cartoons to the finest in Japanese hentai.

But I must say, Monster House is some of the finest.

This movie uses the same type of motion capture as the creepy holiday film, Polar Express, but uses it to its advantage rather than tooting it's own horn about the technology. The facial expressions are wonderful, capturing every nuance of the three precocious kids, the textures are well defined and the movement is fluid. Yes, technically, this movie is well done, but it's the great story that pushes it over the edge. It's hilarious. Chowder is my new hero. Or maybe Skull. Or Bones. Or Zee. Yup, the characters are all great and the voice acting (by the likes of Jason Lee and Napoleon Dynamite himself)is the icing on the cake. Just all around a fine movie.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

And I wanted to pull out my own eyes after watching this movie. It's fucking horrible. Just horrible. And not in a good way.

Thank You For Smoking

Here is a movie that is appalling and hilarious at the same time. The only reason this movie works is because Aaron Eckhart plays the fast talking lobbyist with just enough subtlety that he doesn't turn into a cartoon character. Though some of the moments felt like a pompous inside joke (see the scene about... ironically enough, about the inside joke), most of the scenes are brilliant. I especially like the meetings of the "Merchants of Death" or "Mod Squad", and watch in horror on the body count just piles up. A fine piece of black humor.

Memoirs of a Geisha

I don't know what I was thinking taking so long in seeing this movie. It is unbelievable. Maybe I thought the idea of Ziyi Zhang in an English speaking movie was a little disturbing. Didn't matter... she was just as mesmerising as in anything else she's been in. The cinematography was stunning, the art direction deep and lush, and the story I found to be quite gripping. I almost didn't want to send this movie back to Netflix. :(

The Notorious Bettie Page

I am a fan of Bettie Page. I have been for a very long time. Before her image was put on throw pillows at Hot Topic. I knew from the very moment I heard this movie was being made... I'd either love it or hate it.





But thankfully, they pulled it off.

I read the book on which the movie is based, and it follows it well, giving it an authentic '50's feel. Gretchen Mol portrays the eerily resilient pin-up through her life of turmoil and triumph, and executes Bettie's poses with such accuracy its almost spooky. I read a review that said they had wished the movie followed Bettie into her later years, but I disagree. They are certainly not pretty, and would should embrace the icon that was left behind.

New and Improved

As you can tell, this fine blog now contains pictures and graphics for your continued viewing pleasure. You're welcome.

The Future of Food

I stumbled across this movie one night on Netflix. I'm a big fan of documentaries, and it sounded interesting, so I thought I would give it a go. The editing is a little choppy, but the information therein is very disturbing and not anything you would expect. I've always known I wasn't a fan of genetically modified food, but this shows you just how large of a problem it really is. The financial, ecological, agricultural, nutritional costs are all massive. I highly recommend this movie. It'll make you think about everything you've ever eaten in your life... it's absolutely jaw dropping.

Something New

Here we have a movie that closely inspects romantic relationships between white people and black people. It's not trite, it's not ridiculous, it's not unrealistic or cliche. It is very well done. It explores the fact that even though someone might not be prejudice, they still might have questions or curiosity about someone from another race. Of course, it's a touchy subject. But not talking about race just leads to more questions and more curiosity. This movie also touches on equally touchy subjects such as dealing with family, class and the battle of the sexes. But all is done with class and sensitivity. I would recommend this movie to just about anyone.

Jimmy and Judy

Jimmy and Judy Official Website

Jimmy and Judy on IMDB

Cast & Crew:
Edward Furlong, William Sadler, Rachel Bella, Chaney Kley, directed by Randall Rubin, Jon Schroder

Synopsis:
The ultimate teenage outcast road movie, Jimmy and Judy charts the path of a pair of outsiders who fall in love and out of control as they travel across an American landscape dotted with hypocrisy, materialism, drugs and violence. Written and directed by Randall K. Rubin and Jon Schroder, Jimmy and Judy offers a fresh take on classic adolescent themes such as rebellion, love, and anger.

I went to the premiere last night, and I must say this movie is truly excellent. And I'm not just saying that because I'm biased. Jimmy and Judy falls into the gritty, ugly, tragic indie genre that I love (see: Niagara, Niagara, Twin Falls Idaho) following a young couple that you know are doomed from movie poster. The movie is very real... sometimes funny, sometimes shocking, but ultimately very sad. Some of the most intense scenes use the effective tactic of showing very little, while during other scenes you feel a bit assaulted by the imagery. A very intense and slightly chubby Edward Furlong plays the title character of Jimmy well, alternating between a hurt, lost young man and troubled delinquent let down by his parents and society. It's almost painful to watch as he manipulates the naive Judy (Rachel Bella)and turns her into the same kind of broken human being. William Sadler is excellent as the legendary Uncle Rodney and practically steals the movie with his meth infused soliloquy mid-film. This movie shows the kind of love that will change your life forever, if you could only survive it. Well done.

Go see this movie! Tell your friends to see this movie! If you city was not selected call your local theater!

Lucky Number Slevin

Dude, where did they get that fucking wallpaper?

Anyhoo...

I thought this gritty film noir was either trying to pay homage (or possible poke fun) at movies like The Usual Suspects, taking every moment of celluloid as an opportunity to add another twist to the plot. However, it stays grounded with quirky characters and witty, though sometimes exhausting, dialog. Lucy Liu, who ranges from "kicks ass" to "sucks ass" in my book, offers up a very likeable counterpart to Josh Harnett's Slevin, a seemingly nice joe with horrible luck. A bevy of other A-listers pop up throughout the film, and all do an excellent job of not taking themselves, nor the movie, too seriously. Add into that fresh cinematography and art direction and you have yourself an enjoyable little thriller.

Instant Justice

Starring Tawny Kitaen.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Running Scared

Who woulda thunk that I could love a Paul Walker movie so much. This is up there with the best of stylized violence: Tarantino, Korean thrillers, Boondock Saints... fucking love it!