Brokeback Mountain

I put off seeing this movie for as long as possible to let the hype over the "Gay Oscars" cool off. Any movie that gets as much press as this movie did, makes my stomach turn just a little bit... regardless of the subject matter.

But I'll admit it. I did like this movie. And yes, I would love a Jake-Heath sandwich. Thank you for asking. But seriously, it is a beautiful movie, I cried like a bitch at the end, and Ang Lee's direction is awe inspiring.

Ellie Parker

Ellie's life is nothing if not complex, a virtual roller coaster of moments. You feel that the struggling actress could possibly be on the verge, and the anticipation is a bit uncomfortable to watch. But I think, that's kind of the point. That desperation is something every artist feels even if they are less drama queen in nature. In the end, Ellie is lovable despite of all her flaws, or maybe even possibly because of them.

Aeon Flux

I really wanted this movie to be good. I like Charlize, I was a fan of the Liquid Television animated version, and the visual effects in the promos looked promising.

But this movie is not good. Its not Catwoman bad, it is not necessarily bad at all, just very dull. Even Charlize in a million s/m outfits doing martial arts moves that accentuate her lengthy gams couldn't spice up the exhausting plot and trivial dialog. And to think she almost killed herself making this movie...

Final Fantasy: Advent Children (US Review)

I copied my review over from the Gamer Girl group I run on Suicide Girls because I'm lazy and didn't feel like typing it all over again:

So, I finally picked up my copy of FF: Advent Children yesterday after months of watching a bootleg copy of the Japanese version without subtitles. If you're thinking about picking it up a few notes:

- The dubbing is really pretty good, I was pleased.

- You can still watch it in Japanese with English subtitles if you're a purist

- If you've seen the Japanese version, the US version DOES have some differences, including the ending sequence

- Is it wrong that I think Cloud is a total hottie?

- I got the 2-disc special edition... and its really not that special. The added features are just ok and they didn't even include a cool book.

- Still worth adding to your collection

King Kong

Alternative titles for this movie:

"Just Like Hollywood: Pretty But Dull"

"The Greatest Tale of Animal Abuse Ever Told"

"2 Hours 2 Long"

See also, Warner Bros. cartoons, live action.

Domino

Fucking A. I am so gay for Domino.

The Aristocrats

The perfect recommendation for anyone who is easily offended.

A+

Just Friends

I actually liked this movie way more than I thought I would. Of course, I wasn't exactly sober, but it was exactly what the doctor ordered for my current state of mind. Mindless, stupid comedy with a pinch of sweetness. I really like Ryan Reynolds and the fact that as attractive as he is, he chooses to be a clown as opposed to the cheesy leading man.

A Love Song For Bobby Long

A friend of mine recommended this movie, said it changed his life.

It might not have changed my life, but this movie is very, very good.

I've always been a little bit on the fence about John Travolta. As an actor, you have kitschy classics like Grease and Pulp Fiction, but then you also have Battlefield Earth. And I generally have a problem with anyone who's a Scientologist (sorry Beck). Call me prejudice, I call it a cult. But then again, he seems like such a generally nice guy.

Well, like him or hate him, this movie proves that Travolta can actually act. The melodramatic Bobby Long is a true bastard, but that's what gives life to his story. The supporting cast is equally as good, and like New York City in a Woody Allen film, New Orleans comes alive to become one of the movie's critical characters.

I would put this movie on anyone's must see list.

Just Like Heaven

Pure crap. The storyline is ridiculous, the dialog isn't well written and the characters are relatively flat. And the ending! Cheese, cheese, cheese. However, everyone in it is completely likeable, and I stand by my statement that Mark Ruffalo is the most stalkworthy man in Hollywood. I usually don't go all gooey over a Hollyweird heartthrob, but Mr. Ruffalo gets me more than a little moist. He's really the only reason I rented this shite, and I hope to God I never see him in a piece of mainstream crap like this ever again.

Wonder Woman (Finally, some good news...)

After years of some scary speculation over the casting of the Wonder Woman movie, including such names as Sandra Bullock and Sarah Michelle Gellar (we loved you as Buffy, but as an Amazon princess?)

Then I heard that Joss Whedon was heading up the project, and lately Mr. Whedon can do no wrong in my book.

And with this latest news, he proves me right:

Beckinsale confirmed as "Wonder Woman"
Friday, March 31,11:57 PM ET

Writer/director Joss Whedon confirmed today that production on his highly anticipated movie adaptation of the popular comic book series "Wonder Woman" would begin filming in early September with British actress Kate Beckinsale chosen as the lead. Whedon, who has secretly been auditioning dozens of top names in the industry over the past month, said that he was "very happy" with his pick and couldn't wait to get started.

Whedon also announced that he had recently finished his screenplay of the film and that fans of the series would not be disappointed, with plenty of fun, action and thrills for everyone: "I hope folks realize how important this movie is to me, and how much I care about female characters. I think we're going to surprise a lot of people with this one."

Happy happy happy me.

Serenity

I want to have Joss Whedon's baby this movie is so good.

Corpse Bride

Ok. Certainly no Nightmare..., but not horrible. I think Burton is beginning to slip though. I blame HBC.

It's the Yoko factor, I'm telling you.

The Brothers Grimm

The jury is still out on this one.

No, seriously.

Since the red Netflix envelope dropped into my mailbox, I've watched this movie multiple times and I honestly do not know what my opinion is on it.

But here's what I do know...

I am a big fan of Terry Gilliam's other work.
Though Heath Ledger's performance is a bit lackluster at times, I found him very watchable.
I found myself really disliking Matt Damn's character, but that might have been the point.
Something tells me they really wanted Keira Knightley for the female lead.
Though I could appreciate the "look" they were trying for, the fx come off cartoony at times.

I might have to watch it a few more times before I decide. I'll let you know.

MirrorMask

Think the Henson movies of yesteryear... Labyrinth, Dark Crystal... think The Cell for kids... think a Brothers Quay bedtime story... all I can say is fucking wow.

Madagascar

I love animation, and this is one of the best. Definitely one to own. At first, I was turned off by the big Hollywood cast and the so-so animation, but after viewing the movie, I find I was wrong on both counts. Chris Rock surprisingly pulls off 'sweet', Ben Stiller is actually funny, the rest of the cast adds their own spice, and the animation style that initially turned me off, is actually quite creative and fresh and you'll want to see it again to pick up all the details both on screen and in the script.

Disney better watch their collective asses, because Dreamworks is the new "it" company for American animation.

Rent

I cried at the end, just like I cried all 4 times I've seen the play.

If you like the theatrical version, if you like the music and the storyline, you'll like the movie. If you don't, you won't. Simple as that.

Playing God

A mildly entertaining movie. Caught it at 4am-ish on Fox. Can't get over how young Angelina Jolie looks. Not that she's old and haggered now or anything. God, I miss the X-files...

V for Vendetta: Early Thoughts

I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT TO SEE THIS FUCKING MOVIE!

That is all.

The Academy Awards. (Delayed Reaction.)

I realize this post is a little late, but my 'puter was a little under the weather when the Oscars aired.

So instead of my long drawn out Oscar Review, you only get the Cliff Notes version. Yeah. I know how sad you are.

- Best show in years. Decent pace, great writing, only a few uncomfortable moments.
- Jon Stewart, excellent host. Funny, relevant, edgy. How about Bill Maher co-hosting with him next year.
- When the Academy President gives his annual speech mid-show, I usually go get a snack. To liven it up this year, he gave a most entertaining "anti-piracy" speech. I laughed so hard I almost pee'd.
- Jake Gyllenhaal rolling his eyes at above speech... priceless.
- "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" winning Best Song. Fawking awesome.
- Most uncomfortable moment of the evening... Lauren Bacall unable to read the teleprompter. I had to leave the room.
- What the hell was Charlize wearing?

- And finally, my thoughts on the winners...

* George Cloonely deserved Supporting Actor, but was guanteed the award since he wasn't getting the director award.
* Ang Lee got director because Brokeback wasn't getting Best Picture.
* Crash won Best Picture because it deserved it.
* Felicity Huffman was robbed.
* Best Supporting Actress was a total farce. Thandie Newton should have been nominated AND gotten the Oscar.

... and that's about it. Or at least what I can remember. It's not like I was taking notes (this year). Ha, ha. Just kidding.

...or am I?

Jarhead

Jarhead gets my award for the most underappreciated movie of 2005. A truly excellent movie. But beware, it's not a movie about a war. It's a movie about a soldier. None the less, I think it should be placed on the shelf with other military movies such as Full Metal Jacket and Apocalypse Now. Saarsgard should have replaced William Hurt on the Oscar ballot for supporting actor. The strange thing is, I don't remember this movie doing particularly well at the theaters, but I guess that really isn't saying much since NO movies are doing that stellar at the box office. Oh well, rent this movie. Or come watch it at my place since I'll be owning this one.

In Her Shoes

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why do I keep doing this to myself? I need to stop listening to people who tell me to watch a movie that my gut tells me to avoid. It's not that this is a bad movie. Because it really isn't.
But it's a fucking chick flick!
I can do happy. I can do sad. I can do dysfunctional families, star crossed lovers, relationships destroyed by disease. I am not completely without feeling, even as hard as I try to be. But this movie was just pure sap. That Beaches, Terms of Endearment kind of sweet that makes your fillings hurt. Even if slipping into a diabetic coma is your things, I couldn't get past the whole Cameron Diaz thing. Man, is she annoying. The always adorable Toni Collette was the only thing that kept me from turning the movie, but the script constantly fails her character giving her all the depth of a saucer of milk. Oh well. Win some, lose some.

40-Year Old Virgin

Really good. More sweet and less ha-ha than I thought it would be,but really good. Steve Carell gets mad props for the chest waxing scene, which was shown in the tv promos, but is so much worse in the movie. You can actually see blood beading up after the strips of linen are pulled.

The cameos by Carell's Office co-stars were perfect and Catherine Keener is too cute as always. This is one I want for my collection for sure.

Just Visiting

Ever since seeing the Professional, I have been crushin on French actor Jean Reno. I'll watch anything that he's in. Unfortunately, his American movie career has been a little hit and miss since making the Professional, and has fallen into Forrest Whitaker "movie-whore" territory (someone's agent needs to be shot).

So when I caught this movie 5 minutes in, I was excited that network tv was showing a Reno movie I hadn't already seen.

Instead of actually telling you what I thought of this movie, I am just going to give you the Netflix synopsis and let you decide for yourself.

It's a case of culture clash when a warrior finds himself a few thousand miles -- and 800 years -- from home! Count Thibault of Malfete (Jean Reno) is transported from 12th century France to a modern Chicago museum. There, he meets the beautiful Julia (Christina Applegate), a descendant of his. Problem is, if he doesn't get back to his own time, she'll never be born!
Starring: Jean Reno, Christian Clavier, Christina Applegate
Director: Jean-Marie Gaubert

Parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
Genre: Comedy
Format: Widescreen, More
Language: English

Tara Reid co-stars.

Waiting

Not nearly as gross as I thought it would be. Or as bad. If you have ever worked in any food service position, you see how on the money this movie is.

Good for a chuckle when paired with fresh greens and a bag of salty snacky goodness.